eyes blurry

[sarafinamable]

if at first you're going to take me

THEN TAKE ME

b/c i saw a color in you that sent my eyes blurry searching for reality

and you were HERE
and you held my HAND
and you touched my LIPS
and you focused on my EYES

and i was dizzy with this haven

the feel of your HAIR
the taste of your SKIN
the smell of your COLOGNE
the fixation of your EYES

and there was this craving in the pit of my stomach that sent my heart spinning searching for love

or lust
or trust
or affection

and there you were, here you are
so i tell you
if at first you're going to take me

then TAKE ME

b/c i am rendered immobile in your presence
but my body is warm to the touch



------------------
"this is life not heaven, you don't have to be perfect."
Gia
"Our love was comfortable and so broken in"
John Mayer
http://www.onemoredrink.moonfruit.com
First Name Basis is a great, little known band (so far), check out their website

[Hannibal]

Like a dirty ole man lookin at porn, this poem made me smile one of those "devious" smiles...
I enjoyed reading, and re-reading this peice.
It sounds so bad, yet so enticingly good.

*thumbs up*


------------------
As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy

[thrutheeyesofme]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sarafinamable:

and there was this craving in the pit of my stomach that sent my heart spinning searching for love

b/c i am rendered immobile in your presence
but my body is warm to the touch
[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

These are my favourite parts i think they are so apt and descriptive.. perhaps i see it from a slightly diff. perspective to Hannibal lol. I'm going to show my ignorance here I guess but why the caps... is it like a flash of a synecdoche.. kind of juxtaposed senses???? I'm perhaps just not reading it as you intended me to.. get back to me cos i thought the idea was great.




[This message has been edited by thrutheeyesofme (edited March 12, 2002).]

[sarafinamable]

thankyou.
about the caps, i just put them in b/c i wanted those words to have more emphasis, like if i was reading it aloud, they would be stronger.
it also made me feel as if the narrator was in a sense begging, and i don't know if someone would get that otherwise.
ie: "then TAKE ME" and all of the feelings that she sensed and took in. this was something that would stick in her mind.

------------------
"this is life not heaven, you don't have to be perfect."
Gia
"Our love was comfortable and so broken in"
John Mayer
http://www.onemoredrink.moonfruit.com
First Name Basis is a great, little known band (so far), check out their website